Introvert

Many people fail to understand the painful shyness of the introvert, unless they are, of course,
then they understand it perfectly.
An introverted person can be easily embarrassed and sometimes painfully so.

As an introvert myself, I know just how painful it can be when others fail to understand how to interact with and around you.
Here are a few ground rules for dealing with an introvert that will make everyones life easier...

Rules:

1. Never, ever, ever embarrass an introvert. A few ways this can be done that you may not even realize... calling them out in public, drawing attention to them, ignoring them, joking about personal things, picking on them. It maybe all fun and games but to an introvert, it really hurts.
2. Understand that they are introspective. Yes, introverts get lost in their own thoughts often, let them. Just leave them be, when they're ready they'll let you in, maybe.
3. For the love of all that is holy... give them space. Introverts actually like alone time. I realize that's a hard concept to grasp but you must adhere to it.
4. We like our bubble of personal space and expect you to respect that.
5. People drain us. Yes, we may get snappy or tense after spending time surrounded by a large group. We can't help it, please be patient with us.
6. We are not rude or stuck up, we are just shy and prefer to remain on the sidelines observing.
7. Give us plenty of advanced notice before subjecting us to group outings of any sort.
8. Understand that we have trouble voicing our thoughts, again patiences.
9. We are extremely emotional. It's because we are often overwhelmed. Help us, don't get frustrated with us.
10. We are okay with our introvertedness, we don't need you to fix us.

Here is a few images I came across of Pinterest that says it all...

Take heed, you never know just how harmful your words can be! An introverted person is never going to stop and tell you how much something you said or did hurt. They'll just cry later when no one else is around to see it!

Engagement Excitement

My fiancé and I have been engaged now for five months but we've only recently set the date and place and started the planning process. It has been a lot of fun and extremely exciting and alittle bit scary.

So the countdown is on and it made me realize it's not really that far away... and that is scary!

Here are a few of the engagement pictures my cousin Tonya did for us!

Realization

I've been volunteering at Beauvoir for over a month now and that is also where we've planned to have our wedding. As I was last week, I looked out the window at the beautiful grounds, it really began to sink in that this is happening. Then just a few days later our engagement pictures came back. As I looked through them the only thing I could think was just how wonderfully perfect they are or would be if I weren't in them to mess them up. All I can see in every picture is how horrible I look. The dress I ordered to hide some of that didn't come in on time so I made do with one I had and the results were awful. I mared those beautiful pictures. I did.

I have had feelings like this towards myself for as long as I can remember. The only difference is now I actually have a reason. When I was maybe fourteen I overdosed on dexatrim because I thought I was so horribly fat. When I look back at pictures of myself from then I think I'd do anything to be that size again. Now a good forty pounds heavier, I might as well be three hundred with my little 5'1" frame. It shows everything. I've literally tried everything imaginable to loose it without success. What I do know for sure is that I don't want to mare my wedding pictures the same way. 

So I ordered the dress... a size too small. I know that sounds stupid and I know I shouldn't hate myself this way but the truth of the matter is I do and nothing said can change that. So I've got to make this work somehow. ... Eight months to go!

Trying to Adjust!

I have neglected my blog a lot lately mainly because time is not a luxury I have these days.
Between being a full-time mom, a full-time student, holding a full-time job and volunteering for archival service hours, most days I come straight home and crash.

We've been in our new home for about six months now and this country mouse has spent that time becoming and adjusting to life as a city mouse, I've struggled some but for the most part thought I was adjusting well until... ( well at least I was telling myself that )

A few days ago I was driving my son to see his friends in our old hometown. It is about an hour drive away. It has been awhile since we've been out there.





As we were driving past the bails of cotton in the open, bare fields and through the town where every store is recognizable and everything is familiar I realize how much I miss this, how much I want this.








Change never feels good ... seems good ... becomes okay.

Maybe I just need more time but the city feels
so busy.. so big.. so unfamiliar, that it's this big scary place.
Sometimes I feel like I just want to go home and other times I just don't know where home is but I feel something calling in the open land...