I have had feelings like this towards myself for as long as I can remember. The only difference is now I actually have a reason. When I was maybe fourteen I overdosed on dexatrim because I thought I was so horribly fat. When I look back at pictures of myself from then I think I'd do anything to be that size again. Now a good forty pounds heavier, I might as well be three hundred with my little 5'1" frame. It shows everything. I've literally tried everything imaginable to loose it without success. What I do know for sure is that I don't want to mare my wedding pictures the same way.
So I ordered the dress... a size too small. I know that sounds stupid and I know I shouldn't hate myself this way but the truth of the matter is I do and nothing said can change that. So I've got to make this work somehow. ... Eight months to go!