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Sunday, November 17, 2013

Storytime Memories and Epilepsy Awareness!

Never take one single moment for granted!
Sometimes in life you experience something so beautifully rare, that when it's taken away it's excruciating. Abbygale was one of those little girls that always had a smile on her face, so full of energy! It has been alittle over a week now since we lost this angel, and angel she was! It was truly a privilege to get the chance to be part of her life!

As a children's librarian, you get attached to those faithful few that show up smiling at every storytime, ready for another story from Ms Sasha. But it's even more than that because I grew up with Abbygale's mom, it brings it even closer to home. Karen's strength through this tragedy is inspiring. She has leaned on God in a way that few people could, knowing that her sweet angel is being rocked by Jesus right now. I thank Karen so much for sharing her with me!

Abbygale had epilepsy and it was a seizure that took her from us at the age of six. Her life was a testimony to Jesus' love and grace and she would tell everyone she come across. I think it's a testimony that needs to be shared. It's not a coincidence that she passed in November, national epilepsy awareness month. This little girl touched so many lives in her six years and will continue to reach them even in death by making people more aware. God really showed himself through this sweet angel, I've never seen so many people show up at a wake to show their respects to her wonderful parents and sweet little brother. Abbygale's legacy proves God can use one spark to unite the whole world! I'm praying for her family but I know she's watching over them and hope we'll all see her again some day. In the mean time, God grant us the strength to smile, knowing that she's finally seizure free!

Here's to all our storytime fun, it won't be the same without you!

( "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss )
Abbygale always made me smile!

Abbygale 2007-2013

My four storytime amigos!

Posing with their Dino Sculpture Certificates! 

Summer Reading Fun 2012!

My lovely picture from Abbygale 10/2013

It touched my heart so to see her library card!

Wearing Purple for Abbygale!

Monday, October 28, 2013

Working it out...

Have you ever had that feeling that you just can't shake? That even though so much is coming together, that your life feels whole, you still don't understand the direction you're going.

As I lay here in bed, in the middle of the night, no noise, kids are all asleep ... I feel sooo wide awake and confused. I had dreamed a million different dreams for my life yet I still feel so stuck. It's a sea of chaos, the storm has brewed and stilled and brewed, so much so that one should be use to the waves, yet sea sickness creeps. Always questions, yet answers are so hard to come by. I envy those who are able to make a decision and follow it, make up your mind and go forward. Why do I question so much, always second guessing every decision? Some of the problem stems from a strong disbelief in my own abilities  
...  can I do that? do I actually have the strength, the willpower ...

You screw your own path so much, you probably won't even be accepted, so why try?

["Just like a maze with all of the walls on continually change..."]

Laying here, with applications strayed across my bed, listening to music, and honestly wondering why I didn't confide this post to my personal journal and hide away my thoughts like I'm so very used to doing...anyway.

Okay...lighter note,
At least I can say that since I last shared a blog, I have made a few wonderful decisions...
I'm now in a relationship with a wonderful man, I hardly deserve. His name is John and I can't begin to describe just how happy he makes me! I've never felt so at peace, relaxed with any one person before, like the stars on a pitch black sky. I can't help but smile, shine, with the overwhelming happiness!
I also made the executive decision to return to my maiden name, I no longer wanted to be burdened with the legacy of another's name. I needed to make that final step, as proof to myself and the whole world that I have moved on and I'm happy with the changes that are taking place in my life, even if change is a scary creature.

This was my fb announcement...
Well peeps, I'm officially Ms. Chaudron once again! I've thought long and hard about this decision and in light of considering grad school and such, I've decided I want my name to be what appears on my next degree and other professional items! Thanks to all who so warming give me their love and support!

Just alittle insight into my crazy, mismashed thoughts.

                                                                                                                       ~ Sas      

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Autism / Vaccine Link

Most of you know my story! I have three wonderful children, two of which have been diagnosed with a form of Autism. I've often spoken openly about my beliefs and view points on this issue and have openly advocated for Autism Awareness ever since the initial diagnoses. Some of you have heard me tell my story of my own health issues as well, that I do see the same characteristics in myself, although I didn't always. After coming across this article, I felt it was time to talk alittle more candidly.

I married young and two years later gave birth to a happy, healthy boy. I had never really had health issues myself. While excepting, I was told I did not have an immunity to MMR, even though I had records of receiving all of my vaccines as a child. I was told to stay away from sick children while excepting and after my son's birth, I was immediately given the MMR vaccine. 
It wasn't long before I developed a bout of stomach problems. Soon being diagnosed with IBS. I received meds and test galore but no real answers. I was completely trust worthy of the medical community, why wouldn't I be right? I never thought twice about my situation. 
Soon we decided, we'd like to have another child but it was four years before I was able to conceive. Our second son was happy, always smiling, developing properly. I soon found out I was excepting our third child. During this time, I watched the regression of my smiling boy but couldn't understand why. I was a full time college student and excepting again but still gave him every attention I could. He was diagnosed with ear infection after ear infection, given extreme amounts of medicine. He lost all speech and began hitting his head on things often. Soon we switched doctors and it was brought to our attention that there may be a hearing problem. After numerous tests and surgeries, we were told his hearing was adequate for speech. So why wouldn't our bright little boy speak.
In the mean time, I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. After suffering through jaundice the first month, at two months old, she was hospitalized with RSV. It was Christmas Day and I'm sitting in the hospital with my baby suffering, praying for an answer for my toddler's situation, when we saw the documentary on TV. I can't ever remember the channel or the name, only that they were talking about the Autism Epidemic. They showed children with Autism and I turned to my mom and she had the same look on her face that I had. 
WE KNEW! And we were terrified.
I soon went to our doctor and he saw it too but wanted to rule out every other possibility first. We went through gene testing, eeg's, xrays, catscans, if you can imagine it, we tested for it. We started therapy of every kind, speech, OT, SI etc...
Soon we had our diagnose from Tulane Children's Hospital in New Orleans, La ... Autism. 
Terrified, not knowing what to except, I threw myself into research. Adding special education courses to my already heavy school load and joined local support groups like TEAAM.

We've been a member ever since, attending walks and advocating for Autism Awareness.
It wasn't long before we noticed similar symptoms in our daughter but not as severe. After testing, we were told that she was border-line, to retest once she was older. She was recently diagnosed with Asperger's.
I have also suffered through tons of stomach problems, cysts, scopes, etc... and have been recently diagnosed with a gluten intolerance.
My children have made enormous progress and I am so proud of them. We have not let this stop us from living our lives to the fullest! They are extremely intelligent and loving! I just want the world to know our story.
The diagnose of Autism has risen since my children's diagnoses. When we first started our journey the number was 1 in 250 children. We are now at a diagnoses rate of 1 in 88.

That has only been the span of a few years. (We started the beginning of our journey around 2004.)
This is growing, it is an epidemic. One that is completely ignored!
It's outrageous to me that our world doesn't wake up to the fact that we are being poisoned!
Something is wrong and it's time we all start asking what! I promise you, if you are not personally effected then you know someone that is!

                                                                                     That's my rant for the day! 

Friday, August 2, 2013

Hidden Treasures

So, my kids, a few family members and I all went on a hiking trip in July this summer in Lucedale, Ms. It was a very short trail, about five miles long. What got me about it, was that it was only about 20 minutes from our home and even though I had been to the adjoining park before, I had no clue the trail was there. I little piece of nature, hidden right out in the open.

Well, I couldn't help myself. As an amateur photography dabbler, I had to drag my camera along for the ride and I was pleasantly pleased that I did.

Here are a few shots! 


The rest are available at Sassy's Photography...

                             ~ Sasha

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Shut the door...

Everyone who knows me, knows I've always been able to use written word in a way I cannot use my voice. When speaking, I cannot convey my ideas in the way I desire. So, when my voice fails, I write.
I write to clarify my feelings, as I never want to hurt anyone or make anyone feel like I have an issue with them. My issue is with myself and my problem is that it's time to  ... Shut the door ...

I've been praying for sometime for direction in my situation. As we fast approach the two year anniversary of my divorce (July 11, 2011), I've begun to realize that I have intentionally hung onto things that are reminders. Even though, those things are burning me from the inside out! I've gotten much better over the past two years, I've come to terms with my divorce and the fact that he is now, with and engaged to, someone else. I wish him well in his new found life, and pray that when ready, God grants me equal happiness. I've been battling against what I've known for some time now... my church.

I love my church dearly, please don't get me wrong. After my divorce, I honestly believe I turned back to this church for the comfort of familiarity. But I also think there was a small part of me that hoped for a glorious reconciliation. That God would reunite my family at the same place it was founded. It has taken me quite some time to come to grips with the fact that, God ordered my divorce. I've had so many people tell me that divorce is wrong and it's the greatest sin ever. That I should be praying that, God restore us. I hurt myself and my spirit and began second guessing the decisions I made to protect my family. (Because yes, I did pray long and hard before my divorce and believed it was the right thing, no matter how much pain it cost me.) But I allowed the spiritual bullying to have its way and began to question myself, my life and God. At first, being back at my church was comforting, but the more I grew back into myself spiritually, the more it hurt. Until it has gotten to the point I'm at now. It is absolutely painful! A constant reminder of all I've lost, of all of the pain I've experienced. Church, shouldn't be painful.

A few weeks ago, the messaged preached was titled 'Why are you here?' The premise was geared towards people who come to church for show but God spoke to me differently. It has never been that I don't want to be at church, I love church, I love worship, I love to sing, and I love the Lord and I want my kids raised in church. But when I asked myself, 'Why are you here?' Well, the answer wasn't pretty. I am there because I feel like I'm needed, obligated! The war in my spirit against whether you needed me here or whether I needed to be here! The sincere feeling of not wanting to let others down or leave a church I knew needed me, needed teachers. I've stayed stuck in a position that has greatly hurt me spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally, out of obligation, fear of disapproval, fear of neglecting my post. I now know for sure I cannot continue to do this.

Today's sermon was on closing doors. The analogue of a phone booth was used, the old phone booths had to be closed before the light would come on.
Let God shut the door to the things that hinder you! Even if your hindrance is your church?
It's truly time to ask yourself, 'Why are you here?' Allow God to answer the question for you! Once you've prayed over it and you know, move forward and allow God to close the door behind you. The devil continues to try, but it's time we move forward with our lives and forget those things behind us and walk forward.

I know this is a must because I can look at him, know the pain he caused, (fourteen years of marriage can't be forgotten over night) but it does not hurt as much because I know in seeing him that he is not the same man I knew, the man I love. But my church, it is the same. The memories of the loss of my best friend. The memories of her disapproval of my decision. The memories of all the happy promises unfulfilled, there, staring me in the face, of the building, that's appearances have never changed. It's still my building, my church! It's enough to drive me to the breaking point, enough to make all the memories flood back, just by driving by much less entering, just like it all happened yesterday! It is all too much to bare!

I've allowed pain to control my life long enough! So much pain, so much judgment. I've battled with what others think of me for so long, when it really shouldn't matter at all! I should only care what God thinks! Work out your own salvation through fear and trembling, right?
So now, what I'm trying to say is, that as much as it pains me, I've got to move forward. I know that we can't move forward where we are, so we must move on and find the place God would have us to be! So, I step out in faith, in search of a new church and I know God will guide my children and I.

Here's to all the memories, happy and sad!

                                                                                                                              ~Sincerely, Sas

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Autism Events

Hello Everyone, 

We are vastly approaching April, April is Autism Awareness Month and we have our annual walk planned and a Trivia Night fundraiser. I have provided links to register. We would love to have you join us and support Autism Awareness. Our team as always is Orr-iginals and I do have shirts available with our team name, if interested. Remember to 'light it up blue' and our hat pics promo (see blog post) as well! We have monthly support group meetings (Autistic Angels) in Gautier, soon to expand to Lucedale, yay! Show your support for our great cause! Please remember us in your prayers as we venture into the world of Gluten Free, help us by reading 'Eating for Autism'. We also need prayer in some decisions we will soon be making. Also, if you haven't seen the movie, 'Temple Grandin', please do, it will bless your heart! We can't begin to tell you all how very blessed we are to have such a supportive group of family and friends!

Thank you for all your prayers and support,

Sasha Orr
228-627-8161 or

“I am different, not less ”
― Temple Grandin

“If I could snap my fingers and be nonautistic, I would not. Autism is part of what I am.”
― Temple Grandin

Walk supports

TEAAM Gulf Coast Trivia Night & Wine Tasting
March 2, 2013

5th Annual Day of Celebration Walk for Autism Awareness (Coast)
April 6, 2013

Our team (Orr-iginals) shirts.

Sassy's World Blog -

Light it up blue on World Autism Day! April 2. Blue porch everything!

                                           (picture* Orr-iginals - TEAAM Autism Walk 2012)

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Speaking out...

I've always been pretty out spoken on my dislike of guns. I think this dislike of guns has confused many into believing that this means I am anti-gun. I am not anti-gun and I am 100% for the second amendment. I believe it is the peoples right to defend themselves. My dislike of guns probably stems from the fact that as a teenager, one of my best friends little brothers was accidentally killed while playing with a gun. I do not believe however that this is a reason to do away with guns. If we lived in a sin free world than I could see that no guns would be feasible but we do not. We live in a world of chaos which will only continue to decline until the coming of the Lord. Outlawing guns will only hurt the good people, because the bad people will continue to break the law as they always have.
Growing up, I can't remember a time when my grandfather (mother's side) did not have a gun on his person. He was always cleaning them. It was nothing to have numerous grandchildren running around while this was taking place but no one ever got hurt. As an ex 82nd airborne division in the army (Korean War Veteran), my grandfather instilled in us the knowledge that guns were always to be assumed loaded and were not toys.

There is alot of argument over whether automatic guns should be allowed and here's my argument for that. When we Americans first gained our independence as a country over a tyrannical government, it was achieved because the people still had what was the times version of an automatic rifle. We are facing hard times. We are facing a world that wants to take those freedoms we once fought for. Even our founding fathers spoke about this...

"A free people ought not only be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them. Which would include their own government." - George Washington

"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." - Thomas Jefferson

"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" - Benjamin Franklin

My great great great grandfather (father's side) immigrated to this country in 1793 and was friends with Thomas Jefferson. I wonder how he would feel about the world today, if he would disappointed!

Both of my grandfathers fought for this country, one in the Korean War and one in World War II. Along with great grandfathers in the Civil War, etc... We need to stop demeaning what these men fought for and what our soldiers are still out there fighting for everyday!!!

What we need to realize is that, guns don't kill people, people kill people. If we better educate people than our world might be alittle bit different. Not only do we not educate the people, but we spend our time trying to change history. The old saying is, a people who doesn't learn from history is doomed to repeat it, well how much worse off will a people be that tries to change their history to their liking.

The signs of the times are here. Wake up, if you don't  know Jesus Christ as your personal savior, start seeking him today!

                                                               Just my voice, Sasha

Monday, January 14, 2013

Just the way you are!

Isaac and I was having a discussion tonight about babies in mommies tummies, (not sure what brought it on) he seemed already well informed but curious. After several normal questions and answers, out of the blue he said, 'do babies who are born with Autism get it from the umbilical cord?' I said, 'sweetie, they don't really know what causes Autism.' He just sat there thinking, so I said, 'maybe someday you'll become a great scientist and figure it out.' And he just smiled and said, 'maybe I will!'

I can remember when he was first diagnosed with Autism, we were devastated but now I see him for what he truly is, he's so very bright and so different in such a wonderful way. It's who he is, who they are, and I can understand why Temple Grandin said that if someone gave her a cure, she wouldn't take it.
Because let me say, my babies are perfect just the way they are!

                                                                                                    ~Sincerely, Sas

“I am different, not less ” 

“In an ideal world the scientist should find a method to prevent the most severe forms of autism but allow the milder forms to survive. After all, the really social people did not invent the first stone spear. It was probably invented by an Aspie who chipped away at rocks while the other people socialized around the campfire. Without autism traits we might still be living in caves.” 
― Temple Grandin

Monday, January 7, 2013

New Year's again...

It's seems like New Year's resolution time seems to always be looming. I feel like I always make all of the same resolutions that I never seem to keep, mainly 'lose weight'. This year, I've decided not to focus so much on resolutions and just focus on trying to find a happier, healthier me. I know that doesn't sound like much, but it is big. I've realized that for quite some time, I've been really beating myself up over something that was out of my hands. Earlier today I posted this on facebook...

The more people tell me I'm better off, the more I realize the real problem is forgiving myself! So that's my New Years res, letting go and letting God!

So, I received responses like, what do you have to forgive yourself for, you didn't do anything wrong, you did what you had to do.

But you see, that's just it. I did it. I actually asked for the divorce. I was the one that actually went against my beliefs and standards as a christian and asked for the divorce. Sure I was justified, sure my life was in the worst possible place, sure I was protecting my children and myself, but nevertheless, I actually did it. And I've literally hated myself for it. I've spent the last year and a half reassuring myself through scripture,

(But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 1 Cor 7:15)

And I can truly say, I was not at peace. I gave him chance after chance. And you might say, but if you asked for the divorce, how was the unbeliever the departing one. Well because, his actions proved he didn't want us, he wanted out but just didn't want to be the one to do it. Yes, he did hurt me in so many ways I can't even begin to describe, but I still say, nevertheless...

Nevertheless, my heart hurts. I remember the good and think, I should have clinged to that. I see happy families and wonder what have I deprived my babies of. I see just how much worse he's gotten and wonder if it was my fought. Did I give up too soon? I know what you're all saying, because many of you have told me personally... You did give it your best, your all, much more than most. Yet I still hear my babies cries, mommy, why can't y'all get back together. How does one handle that, the pain can be overwhelming.

I've watched him, with her, ever since our divorce and I know that he thinks he is happy in his life without God (a man who used to walk with God close enough to preach His word), and I know I could never be.  (then reason for inevitability)
I need God, everyday, every waking moment. My Lord and savior is everything. And if something so horrible as divorce is what it took to remind me of that, then so be it.
So this year, I've resolved to focus on God. On restoring my life for my children and myself, and most importantly,
learning to forgive myself, learning to let go, learning to let God. Because above all else, I know God has a plan for my life and He would never place more on me than I can handle.

I pray and ask you all to pray with me, that God gives me the strength to handle this endeavor. I know I'll still have bad days, but in those days, let me be reminded that God is for me and my kids.

That we can have a brighter 2013 and future!

~ Sincerely,