Well, I couldn't help myself. As an amateur photography dabbler, I had to drag my camera along for the ride and I was pleasantly pleased that I did.
Here are a few shots!
Friday, August 2, 2013
Hidden Treasures
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Shut the door...
Everyone who knows me, knows I've always been able to use written word in a way I cannot use my voice. When speaking, I cannot convey my ideas in the way I desire. So, when my voice fails, I write.
I write to clarify my feelings, as I never want to hurt anyone or make anyone feel like I have an issue with them. My issue is with myself and my problem is that it's time to ... Shut the door ...
I've been praying for sometime for direction in my situation. As we fast approach the two year anniversary of my divorce (July 11, 2011), I've begun to realize that I have intentionally hung onto things that are reminders. Even though, those things are burning me from the inside out! I've gotten much better over the past two years, I've come to terms with my divorce and the fact that he is now, with and engaged to, someone else. I wish him well in his new found life, and pray that when ready, God grants me equal happiness. I've been battling against what I've known for some time now... my church.
I love my church dearly, please don't get me wrong. After my divorce, I honestly believe I turned back to this church for the comfort of familiarity. But I also think there was a small part of me that hoped for a glorious reconciliation. That God would reunite my family at the same place it was founded. It has taken me quite some time to come to grips with the fact that, God ordered my divorce. I've had so many people tell me that divorce is wrong and it's the greatest sin ever. That I should be praying that, God restore us. I hurt myself and my spirit and began second guessing the decisions I made to protect my family. (Because yes, I did pray long and hard before my divorce and believed it was the right thing, no matter how much pain it cost me.) But I allowed the spiritual bullying to have its way and began to question myself, my life and God. At first, being back at my church was comforting, but the more I grew back into myself spiritually, the more it hurt. Until it has gotten to the point I'm at now. It is absolutely painful! A constant reminder of all I've lost, of all of the pain I've experienced. Church, shouldn't be painful.
A few weeks ago, the messaged preached was titled 'Why are you here?' The premise was geared towards people who come to church for show but God spoke to me differently. It has never been that I don't want to be at church, I love church, I love worship, I love to sing, and I love the Lord and I want my kids raised in church. But when I asked myself, 'Why are you here?' Well, the answer wasn't pretty. I am there because I feel like I'm needed, obligated! The war in my spirit against whether you needed me here or whether I needed to be here! The sincere feeling of not wanting to let others down or leave a church I knew needed me, needed teachers. I've stayed stuck in a position that has greatly hurt me spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally, out of obligation, fear of disapproval, fear of neglecting my post. I now know for sure I cannot continue to do this.
Today's sermon was on closing doors. The analogue of a phone booth was used, the old phone booths had to be closed before the light would come on.
Let God shut the door to the things that hinder you! Even if your hindrance is your church?
It's truly time to ask yourself, 'Why are you here?' Allow God to answer the question for you! Once you've prayed over it and you know, move forward and allow God to close the door behind you. The devil continues to try, but it's time we move forward with our lives and forget those things behind us and walk forward.
I know this is a must because I can look at him, know the pain he caused, (fourteen years of marriage can't be forgotten over night) but it does not hurt as much because I know in seeing him that he is not the same man I knew, the man I love. But my church, it is the same. The memories of the loss of my best friend. The memories of her disapproval of my decision. The memories of all the happy promises unfulfilled, there, staring me in the face, of the building, that's appearances have never changed. It's still my building, my church! It's enough to drive me to the breaking point, enough to make all the memories flood back, just by driving by much less entering, just like it all happened yesterday! It is all too much to bare!
I've allowed pain to control my life long enough! So much pain, so much judgment. I've battled with what others think of me for so long, when it really shouldn't matter at all! I should only care what God thinks! Work out your own salvation through fear and trembling, right?
So now, what I'm trying to say is, that as much as it pains me, I've got to move forward. I know that we can't move forward where we are, so we must move on and find the place God would have us to be! So, I step out in faith, in search of a new church and I know God will guide my children and I.
Here's to all the memories, happy and sad!
~Sincerely, Sas
I write to clarify my feelings, as I never want to hurt anyone or make anyone feel like I have an issue with them. My issue is with myself and my problem is that it's time to ... Shut the door ...
I've been praying for sometime for direction in my situation. As we fast approach the two year anniversary of my divorce (July 11, 2011), I've begun to realize that I have intentionally hung onto things that are reminders. Even though, those things are burning me from the inside out! I've gotten much better over the past two years, I've come to terms with my divorce and the fact that he is now, with and engaged to, someone else. I wish him well in his new found life, and pray that when ready, God grants me equal happiness. I've been battling against what I've known for some time now... my church.
I love my church dearly, please don't get me wrong. After my divorce, I honestly believe I turned back to this church for the comfort of familiarity. But I also think there was a small part of me that hoped for a glorious reconciliation. That God would reunite my family at the same place it was founded. It has taken me quite some time to come to grips with the fact that, God ordered my divorce. I've had so many people tell me that divorce is wrong and it's the greatest sin ever. That I should be praying that, God restore us. I hurt myself and my spirit and began second guessing the decisions I made to protect my family. (Because yes, I did pray long and hard before my divorce and believed it was the right thing, no matter how much pain it cost me.) But I allowed the spiritual bullying to have its way and began to question myself, my life and God. At first, being back at my church was comforting, but the more I grew back into myself spiritually, the more it hurt. Until it has gotten to the point I'm at now. It is absolutely painful! A constant reminder of all I've lost, of all of the pain I've experienced. Church, shouldn't be painful.
A few weeks ago, the messaged preached was titled 'Why are you here?' The premise was geared towards people who come to church for show but God spoke to me differently. It has never been that I don't want to be at church, I love church, I love worship, I love to sing, and I love the Lord and I want my kids raised in church. But when I asked myself, 'Why are you here?' Well, the answer wasn't pretty. I am there because I feel like I'm needed, obligated! The war in my spirit against whether you needed me here or whether I needed to be here! The sincere feeling of not wanting to let others down or leave a church I knew needed me, needed teachers. I've stayed stuck in a position that has greatly hurt me spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally, out of obligation, fear of disapproval, fear of neglecting my post. I now know for sure I cannot continue to do this.
Today's sermon was on closing doors. The analogue of a phone booth was used, the old phone booths had to be closed before the light would come on.
Let God shut the door to the things that hinder you! Even if your hindrance is your church?
It's truly time to ask yourself, 'Why are you here?' Allow God to answer the question for you! Once you've prayed over it and you know, move forward and allow God to close the door behind you. The devil continues to try, but it's time we move forward with our lives and forget those things behind us and walk forward.
I know this is a must because I can look at him, know the pain he caused, (fourteen years of marriage can't be forgotten over night) but it does not hurt as much because I know in seeing him that he is not the same man I knew, the man I love. But my church, it is the same. The memories of the loss of my best friend. The memories of her disapproval of my decision. The memories of all the happy promises unfulfilled, there, staring me in the face, of the building, that's appearances have never changed. It's still my building, my church! It's enough to drive me to the breaking point, enough to make all the memories flood back, just by driving by much less entering, just like it all happened yesterday! It is all too much to bare!
I've allowed pain to control my life long enough! So much pain, so much judgment. I've battled with what others think of me for so long, when it really shouldn't matter at all! I should only care what God thinks! Work out your own salvation through fear and trembling, right?
So now, what I'm trying to say is, that as much as it pains me, I've got to move forward. I know that we can't move forward where we are, so we must move on and find the place God would have us to be! So, I step out in faith, in search of a new church and I know God will guide my children and I.
Here's to all the memories, happy and sad!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Autism Events
Hello Everyone,
We are vastly approaching April, April is Autism Awareness Month and we have our annual walk planned and a Trivia Night fundraiser. I have provided links to register. We would love to have you join us and support Autism Awareness. Our team as always is Orr-iginals and I do have shirts available with our team name, if interested. Remember to 'light it up blue' and our hat pics promo (see blog post) as well! We have monthly support group meetings (Autistic Angels) in Gautier, soon to expand to Lucedale, yay! Show your support for our great cause! Please remember us in your prayers as we venture into the world of Gluten Free, help us by reading 'Eating for Autism'. We also need prayer in some decisions we will soon be making. Also, if you haven't seen the movie, 'Temple Grandin', please do, it will bless your heart! We can't begin to tell you all how very blessed we are to have such a supportive group of family and friends!
Thank you for all your prayers and support,
Sasha Orr
Orr-iginals
228-627-8161 or sashaorr@yahoo.com
“I am different, not less ”
― Temple Grandin
“If I could snap my fingers and be nonautistic, I would not. Autism is part of what I am.”
― Temple Grandin
Walk supports www.teaam.org
TEAAM Gulf Coast Trivia Night & Wine Tasting
March 2, 2013
http://autismcamps.org/News/TriviaNight3_2013.html
5th Annual Day of Celebration Walk for Autism Awareness (Coast)
April 6, 2013
http://autismcamps.org/News/DayofCelebration4_2013.html
Our team (Orr-iginals) shirts.
http://www.customizedgirl.com/design/d2a6a6741adc443ed795b273a08206d1_1853984
Sassy's World Blog -
http://sashaorr.blogspot.com/2012/10/autism.html
Light it up blue on World Autism Day! April 2. Blue porch lights...blue everything!
http://www.lightitupblue.org/Markslist/showHomePage.do
(picture* Orr-iginals - TEAAM Autism Walk 2012)
We are vastly approaching April, April is Autism Awareness Month and we have our annual walk planned and a Trivia Night fundraiser. I have provided links to register. We would love to have you join us and support Autism Awareness. Our team as always is Orr-iginals and I do have shirts available with our team name, if interested. Remember to 'light it up blue' and our hat pics promo (see blog post) as well! We have monthly support group meetings (Autistic Angels) in Gautier, soon to expand to Lucedale, yay! Show your support for our great cause! Please remember us in your prayers as we venture into the world of Gluten Free, help us by reading 'Eating for Autism'. We also need prayer in some decisions we will soon be making. Also, if you haven't seen the movie, 'Temple Grandin', please do, it will bless your heart! We can't begin to tell you all how very blessed we are to have such a supportive group of family and friends!
Thank you for all your prayers and support,
Sasha Orr
Orr-iginals
228-627-8161 or sashaorr@yahoo.com
“I am different, not less ”
― Temple Grandin
“If I could snap my fingers and be nonautistic, I would not. Autism is part of what I am.”
― Temple Grandin
Walk supports www.teaam.org
TEAAM Gulf Coast Trivia Night & Wine Tasting
March 2, 2013
http://autismcamps.org/News/TriviaNight3_2013.html
5th Annual Day of Celebration Walk for Autism Awareness (Coast)
April 6, 2013
http://autismcamps.org/News/DayofCelebration4_2013.html
Our team (Orr-iginals) shirts.
http://www.customizedgirl.com/design/d2a6a6741adc443ed795b273a08206d1_1853984
Sassy's World Blog -
http://sashaorr.blogspot.com/2012/10/autism.html
Light it up blue on World Autism Day! April 2. Blue porch lights...blue everything!
http://www.lightitupblue.org/Markslist/showHomePage.do
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Speaking out...
I've always been pretty out spoken on my dislike of guns. I think this dislike of guns has confused many into believing that this means I am anti-gun. I am not anti-gun and I am 100% for the second amendment. I believe it is the peoples right to defend themselves. My dislike of guns probably stems from the fact that as a teenager, one of my best friends little brothers was accidentally killed while playing with a gun. I do not believe however that this is a reason to do away with guns. If we lived in a sin free world than I could see that no guns would be feasible but we do not. We live in a world of chaos which will only continue to decline until the coming of the Lord. Outlawing guns will only hurt the good people, because the bad people will continue to break the law as they always have.
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Growing up, I can't remember a time when my grandfather (mother's side) did not have a gun on his person. He was always cleaning them. It was nothing to have numerous grandchildren running around while this was taking place but no one ever got hurt. As an ex 82nd airborne division in the army (Korean War Veteran), my grandfather instilled in us the knowledge that guns were always to be assumed loaded and were not toys.
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There is alot of argument over whether automatic guns should be allowed and here's my argument for that. When we Americans first gained our independence as a country over a tyrannical government, it was achieved because the people still had what was the times version of an automatic rifle. We are facing hard times. We are facing a world that wants to take those freedoms we once fought for. Even our founding fathers spoke about this...
"A free people ought not only be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them. Which would include their own government." - George Washington
"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." - Thomas Jefferson
"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both" - Benjamin Franklin
My great great great grandfather (father's side) immigrated to this country in 1793 and was friends with Thomas Jefferson. I wonder how he would feel about the world today, if he would disappointed!
Both of my grandfathers fought for this country, one in the Korean War and one in World War II. Along with great grandfathers in the Civil War, etc... We need to stop demeaning what these men fought for and what our soldiers are still out there fighting for everyday!!!
What we need to realize is that, guns don't kill people, people kill people. If we better educate people than our world might be alittle bit different. Not only do we not educate the people, but we spend our time trying to change history. The old saying is, a people who doesn't learn from history is doomed to repeat it, well how much worse off will a people be that tries to change their history to their liking.
The signs of the times are here. Wake up, if you don't know Jesus Christ as your personal savior, start seeking him today!
Just my voice, Sasha
Monday, January 14, 2013
Just the way you are!
Isaac and I was having a discussion tonight about babies in mommies tummies, (not sure what brought it on) he seemed already well informed but curious. After several normal questions and answers, out of the blue he said, 'do babies who are born with Autism get it from the umbilical cord?' I said, 'sweetie, they don't really know what causes Autism.' He just sat there thinking, so I said, 'maybe someday you'll become a great scientist and figure it out.' And he just smiled and said, 'maybe I will!'
I can remember when he was first diagnosed with Autism, we were devastated but now I see him for what he truly is, he's so very bright and so different in such a wonderful way. It's who he is, who they are, and I can understand why Temple Grandin said that if someone gave her a cure, she wouldn't take it.
Because let me say, my babies are perfect just the way they are!
~Sincerely, Sas
“I am different, not less ”
“In an ideal world the scientist should find a method to prevent the most severe forms of autism but allow the milder forms to survive. After all, the really social people did not invent the first stone spear. It was probably invented by an Aspie who chipped away at rocks while the other people socialized around the campfire. Without autism traits we might still be living in caves.”
― Temple Grandin
I can remember when he was first diagnosed with Autism, we were devastated but now I see him for what he truly is, he's so very bright and so different in such a wonderful way. It's who he is, who they are, and I can understand why Temple Grandin said that if someone gave her a cure, she wouldn't take it.
Because let me say, my babies are perfect just the way they are!
~Sincerely, Sas
“I am different, not less ”
“In an ideal world the scientist should find a method to prevent the most severe forms of autism but allow the milder forms to survive. After all, the really social people did not invent the first stone spear. It was probably invented by an Aspie who chipped away at rocks while the other people socialized around the campfire. Without autism traits we might still be living in caves.”
― Temple Grandin
Monday, January 7, 2013
New Year's again...
It's seems like New Year's resolution time seems to always be looming. I feel like I always make all of the same resolutions that I never seem to keep, mainly 'lose weight'. This year, I've decided not to focus so much on resolutions and just focus on trying to find a happier, healthier me. I know that doesn't sound like much, but it is big. I've realized that for quite some time, I've been really beating myself up over something that was out of my hands. Earlier today I posted this on facebook...
The more people tell me I'm better off, the more I realize the real problem is forgiving myself! So that's my New Years res, letting go and letting God!
So, I received responses like, what do you have to forgive yourself for, you didn't do anything wrong, you did what you had to do.
But you see, that's just it. I did it. I actually asked for the divorce. I was the one that actually went against my beliefs and standards as a christian and asked for the divorce. Sure I was justified, sure my life was in the worst possible place, sure I was protecting my children and myself, but nevertheless, I actually did it. And I've literally hated myself for it. I've spent the last year and a half reassuring myself through scripture,
(But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 1 Cor 7:15)
And I can truly say, I was not at peace. I gave him chance after chance. And you might say, but if you asked for the divorce, how was the unbeliever the departing one. Well because, his actions proved he didn't want us, he wanted out but just didn't want to be the one to do it. Yes, he did hurt me in so many ways I can't even begin to describe, but I still say, nevertheless...
Nevertheless, my heart hurts. I remember the good and think, I should have clinged to that. I see happy families and wonder what have I deprived my babies of. I see just how much worse he's gotten and wonder if it was my fought. Did I give up too soon? I know what you're all saying, because many of you have told me personally... You did give it your best, your all, much more than most. Yet I still hear my babies cries, mommy, why can't y'all get back together. How does one handle that, the pain can be overwhelming.
I've watched him, with her, ever since our divorce and I know that he thinks he is happy in his life without God (a man who used to walk with God close enough to preach His word), and I know I could never be. (then reason for inevitability)
I need God, everyday, every waking moment. My Lord and savior is everything. And if something so horrible as divorce is what it took to remind me of that, then so be it.
So this year, I've resolved to focus on God. On restoring my life for my children and myself, and most importantly,
learning to forgive myself, learning to let go, learning to let God. Because above all else, I know God has a plan for my life and He would never place more on me than I can handle.
I pray and ask you all to pray with me, that God gives me the strength to handle this endeavor. I know I'll still have bad days, but in those days, let me be reminded that God is for me and my kids.
That we can have a brighter 2013 and future!
~ Sincerely,
Sasha
The more people tell me I'm better off, the more I realize the real problem is forgiving myself! So that's my New Years res, letting go and letting God!
So, I received responses like, what do you have to forgive yourself for, you didn't do anything wrong, you did what you had to do.
But you see, that's just it. I did it. I actually asked for the divorce. I was the one that actually went against my beliefs and standards as a christian and asked for the divorce. Sure I was justified, sure my life was in the worst possible place, sure I was protecting my children and myself, but nevertheless, I actually did it. And I've literally hated myself for it. I've spent the last year and a half reassuring myself through scripture,
(But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 1 Cor 7:15)
And I can truly say, I was not at peace. I gave him chance after chance. And you might say, but if you asked for the divorce, how was the unbeliever the departing one. Well because, his actions proved he didn't want us, he wanted out but just didn't want to be the one to do it. Yes, he did hurt me in so many ways I can't even begin to describe, but I still say, nevertheless...
Nevertheless, my heart hurts. I remember the good and think, I should have clinged to that. I see happy families and wonder what have I deprived my babies of. I see just how much worse he's gotten and wonder if it was my fought. Did I give up too soon? I know what you're all saying, because many of you have told me personally... You did give it your best, your all, much more than most. Yet I still hear my babies cries, mommy, why can't y'all get back together. How does one handle that, the pain can be overwhelming.
I've watched him, with her, ever since our divorce and I know that he thinks he is happy in his life without God (a man who used to walk with God close enough to preach His word), and I know I could never be. (then reason for inevitability)
I need God, everyday, every waking moment. My Lord and savior is everything. And if something so horrible as divorce is what it took to remind me of that, then so be it.
So this year, I've resolved to focus on God. On restoring my life for my children and myself, and most importantly,
learning to forgive myself, learning to let go, learning to let God. Because above all else, I know God has a plan for my life and He would never place more on me than I can handle.
I pray and ask you all to pray with me, that God gives me the strength to handle this endeavor. I know I'll still have bad days, but in those days, let me be reminded that God is for me and my kids.
That we can have a brighter 2013 and future!
~ Sincerely,
Sasha
Friday, November 9, 2012
Faith
Have you ever felt like Job? Like everything is just failing in around you. For me the last few years have been just that, a perpetual valley,with what seems like no end in sight. Two of my three children diagnosed with Autism. My marriage was failing apart, so I changed my major, just to get out. Lost my home, forced to live with my mom again. Lost my husband, now he is happily taking care of someone else, even though that's all I ever asked of him. Still suck at mom's after three years because I can't afford rent, with my poor babies sleeping on sofas. Having my mouth semi-paralysed. Watching my sweet granny continue to decline. Praying everyday that God will smack my brother upside the head and help him and his family. Just watched my daddy move hundreds of miles away, when we were starting to get close. Everyday constant pain, but having to smile anyway....
It's enough to break anyone, which is why I'm constantly surprised by the people who get mad at me for being sad. A true friend would help see me through and pray for me and lift us up, not stomp us down.
Having said all of that, I can say, yes, there are days when I want to cry out to God, screaming, why have you forsaken me, where are you? What it boils down to is, we let the devil in. We were hurting and didn't stand strong in God. But through this storm, God has helped me rediscover His way, His path, and I stand in faith that He will see us through. Many say let it go, God says stand true on His promises and His word and He will see me through. As I continue through this valley, I now do it believing God is there with me and I realize that it may get darker before the end, because it has, but I know that it is all part of the plan.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God. -Romans 8:28
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. -James 1:3
For those of you who didn't know us in our earlier marriage, you probably don't realize just how on fire for God we were. We had our youth pastor preach at our wedding in hopes that our lost loved ones would find God through our blessed union. We believed God called us to missions and even had a location. And yes, he preached with the fire and anointing of God. And even began live a holy restrictive life. We promised in a covenant of marriage our lives before God, a covenant with God, and to raise up our children in the way they should go. Somewhere along the way, we lost our way, got off the path. I do believe God allowed our divorce to protect us. That was a road I couldn't follow. But if that was what it took to find the path again than so be it. Regardless of all, it was still a covenant with all mighty God and I will cling to His promises and will not let go of my family until He tells me too, if he ever does. In the mean time, I'm going to pray and believe and allow God to lead the way!
So instead of the gossip and backbiting. Instead of putting me down and discouraging me. Why don't you all join with me in faith and lift me up? Pray with me, that God will see us through. He honors the prayers of His children together.
And I pray that God helps me to surrender it all to Him. It's in His hands. I believe Lord that you are able and faithful and you will see us through!
Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief. -Mark 9:24
I stand in faith on the promises of God. Lord Jesus, WHATEVER IT TAKES!
My earnest prayer,
Sasha
It's enough to break anyone, which is why I'm constantly surprised by the people who get mad at me for being sad. A true friend would help see me through and pray for me and lift us up, not stomp us down.
Having said all of that, I can say, yes, there are days when I want to cry out to God, screaming, why have you forsaken me, where are you? What it boils down to is, we let the devil in. We were hurting and didn't stand strong in God. But through this storm, God has helped me rediscover His way, His path, and I stand in faith that He will see us through. Many say let it go, God says stand true on His promises and His word and He will see me through. As I continue through this valley, I now do it believing God is there with me and I realize that it may get darker before the end, because it has, but I know that it is all part of the plan.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God. -Romans 8:28
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. -James 1:3
For those of you who didn't know us in our earlier marriage, you probably don't realize just how on fire for God we were. We had our youth pastor preach at our wedding in hopes that our lost loved ones would find God through our blessed union. We believed God called us to missions and even had a location. And yes, he preached with the fire and anointing of God. And even began live a holy restrictive life. We promised in a covenant of marriage our lives before God, a covenant with God, and to raise up our children in the way they should go. Somewhere along the way, we lost our way, got off the path. I do believe God allowed our divorce to protect us. That was a road I couldn't follow. But if that was what it took to find the path again than so be it. Regardless of all, it was still a covenant with all mighty God and I will cling to His promises and will not let go of my family until He tells me too, if he ever does. In the mean time, I'm going to pray and believe and allow God to lead the way!
So instead of the gossip and backbiting. Instead of putting me down and discouraging me. Why don't you all join with me in faith and lift me up? Pray with me, that God will see us through. He honors the prayers of His children together.
And I pray that God helps me to surrender it all to Him. It's in His hands. I believe Lord that you are able and faithful and you will see us through!
Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief. -Mark 9:24
I stand in faith on the promises of God. Lord Jesus, WHATEVER IT TAKES!
My earnest prayer,
Sasha
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